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Cloris De Matteis is my “nome de plume”. I was born in 1943 from a prominent family in Stresa, a lovely picturesque town on the border of Lake Maggiore in the north of Italy. My childhood proved to be a loveless affair, having to endure real emotional hardship practically since birth, as my parents always favoured my two siblings. Because of this, as soon as I had the opportunity I got married to Pierantonio, an architect much older than myself, seeing it as an escape from my intolerable family’s situation. Soon after my baby boy Patrizio was born. We decided then to migrate to Australia by ship in 1969, on board of the Guglielmo Marconi, part of the big migration at the time, hoping for a better future overseas. The transition from our traditional life into a country with a different way of living it was not void of difficulties and tribulations. Upon our arrival, immediately we had to deal with work and health issues, on top of our existing problems and adjusting to a new and strange culture.
In 1970 another son was born, Damiano, but even this joyous event did nothing to improve our marriage which continued to deteriorate. Pierantonio revealed himself to be a selfish and uncaring man, unable to grasp the idea of being a husband or a father, lacking of any real emotions. After 11 tumultuous years where I kept the elm for everything in our lives, our marriage disintegrated and I finally divorced him. Two years later I married another untypical Italian man, Federico, who was the Financial Administrator for an Italian chocolate firm, but also this marriage was far from idyllic. One year after the wedding I discovered that Federico married me just to obtain permanent residency in Australia, obtainable at the time, only by marrying an Australian citizen. I divorced him as well with a sense of bitterness and frustration of being used in that way by him.
After two divorces and few relationships which ended acrimoniously, it had taken its toll emotionally and physically. I then spent few years on my own and after the last horrendous relationship which nearly destroyed my life, I understood that it was imperative for me, to continue my life without men. Nearly at the end of my 32 years in Australia I finally reached my emotional stability and harmony. My real ambition was always to write and at that time I decided to put pen to paper all my experiences in my 32 years in Australia. In the year 2000 free from any ties, I decided to leave Australia and go back to Italy to start writing my memoires. Writing became like a therapy, a way to remove all what was on my unconscious and all the negativity created by past events. While removing them one by one, this allowed me to describe all the torments and the sufferings which were present in my life since I was a child.
I have written my book in a way that the reader will get involved in my life story by taking them on a roller coaster ride through experiences that have been full of highs and often terrible lows. My life has been a long and tortuous journey, but as a true Aries I did overcome my set backs as best as I could.
Sydney was always in my heart and after being in self imposed exile in Italy for over five years, I returned to Sydney. I realised, not without a tinge of sourness, that Italy was not my country anymore. I am happy to be reunited with my family and to my many friends Down Under which now I consider my home.
Cloris De Matteis